Anger and 5 anger management skills
We all know what anger is, We’ve felt it before: Whether it’s a moment of discomfort or a wave of anger.
Anger is actually a natural human feeling, And even healthy. However, When it gets out of control and turns into a destructive feeling, Can lead to many problems, At the professional and personal levels, which in turn affects the quality of life in general. Makes you feel at the mercy of strong and unexpected feelings.
That’s why today’s article is designed to help you better understand anger, Then seek to control it and use so-called anger management methods to control it.
What’s anger?
Anger is an emotional state ranging from mild discomfort to anger according to psychologist Dr. Charles Spielberg, anger, Like any other emotion, Accompanied by physiological and biological changes: When you’re angry, The heart rate rises, And blood pressure increases, Energy hormones will be. Epinephrine and norepinephrine.
Causes of anger
Feelings of anger may occur due to internal or external factors. You may be angry with a particular person (such as a co-worker or friend) or an event (a suffocating road crisis or a cancelled trip), Anger may be the result of internal factors such as constant anxiety about personal problems, painful memories or previous trauma.
Expression of anger
The natural and innate way to express anger is a strong reaction. Anger is an innate reaction to threats. It often inspires aggressive feelings and behaviors that allow us to fight and defend ourselves.
So anger is not a completely negative feeling, Sufficient anger is necessary to survive. But of course We can’t direct our anger at anything that bothers us, Such as people, laws, social norms or any other situation may bother us.
People usually resort to many conscious and unconscious ways to deal with their anger. The three main roads are as me:
1. Expressing explicit expression
This is the right way to deal with anger, These feelings are firmly highlighted (but not strongly) expressed. To do this, You must learn how to express your needs and meet your needs without harming others. Trust does not mean rush or demands, It means self-esteem and others.
2-Suppressing suppressing
Anger can be suppressed, then converted or redirected. This happens when you suppress your anger, Stop thinking about it and focus on the positive. The purpose of this process is to control angry feelings and then turn them into more constructive behaviors.
However, The danger in this approach to anger is that failure to release him can cause him to be trapped inside and turn against you. This can have serious physical and mental effects, such as depression and high blood pressure.
Not only that, Because undeclared anger can lead to many other problems and can lead to pathological expression of those feelings, which manifests itself as unjustified aggressive behaviour towards others. people who criticize everything about them, and art that frustrates others and destroys morale, They didn’t learn the right way to express their anger, So don’t rule out that they don’t have any successful relationships in life.
3- Calming
Calm is not limited to controlling external behavior caused by anger, But also control internal feelings, and take real action to calm the heartbeat, and reduce feelings of anger and resentment, and restore natural and calm feelings.
In here Spielberg says: If none of these three ways of expressing anger succeed, A person will be on the verge of pain and suffering.
How do you know you’re too angry?
There are many psychological tests that measure a person’s anger, And his tendency to be angry, and his skills in controlling his emotions. But if you’re overly angry, You might know.
If you find yourself acting a little out of control and intimidation, You may need to start looking for better ways to deal with those angry feelings.
Why are some more angry than others?
According to Dr. Jerry Devinbach, A psychologist who specializes in anger management, Some people are more likely to be angry than others. They get angry faster and sharper than others.
Others still don’t express their anger aloud, But they are still often upset and stressed. therefore People who get angry quickly may not always smell and break pots, Instead, They may withdraw and complain or become fine every now and then.
They suffer from what psychologists call a lack of tolerance for setbacks, This simply means that they feel that they should not experience relapses, depression or other uncomfortable feelings.
They can’t relax and get angry at any situation they think is unfair, Like someone correcting a simple mistake they made!
But what makes these people do this?
Okay, There are many reasons for this:
Genetic causes
Several studies have shown that some children are born irritable and prone to anger because signs appear early in life.
Social and cultural reasons
When anger is seen as a negative thing, We have always thought that it is normal to express sadness, anxiety or any other feelings, But expressing anger should not be appropriate.
Family background
Plays an important role in how people deal with anger. Research suggests that those who are easily affected tend to be from troubled and chaotic families whose members lack emotional communication skills.
Anger management skills
Should we leave anger as it is? Or take it out as it is, Regardless of the damage it may cause, Could it not be fixed?
In fact Neither! The best solution is to learn anger management techniques, The right and healthy way to express anger without causing any material or spiritual harm.
Here are 5 steps to managing anger
Step 1: Start understanding your anger.
As we have made clear, Anger is a feeling, Just like any other emotion, The first step in controlling any emotion is to understand why.
A lot of people use anger to hide other feelings, like fear, weakness or shyness. This is particularly true for those who are not encouraged to express their feelings during childhood. But it can also apply to anyone else.
Every time you feel angry, Find your anger and try to figure out how you really feel. Once you do this, It will be easier and better for you to express these feelings.
Step 2: I understand why you’re angry.
We all have something that makes us angry, We all have signs of losing our temper. So learning and recognizing these signals can go a long way before we lose control of our emotions altogether.
Signs and causes of anger: These marks are usually easily identifiable and may include:
- High heartbeat.
- Increase the speed of breathing.
- Tighten the muscles and especially the fist.
- Walk back and forth in the room.
As for the reasons of anger, They are usually very personal and vary from person to person, But they usually revolve around broad general topics such as:
- Negative thinking patterns: Once you start generalizing and saying phrases like this: It’s never going to help me! Or you’ll never understand me! Or when you find yourself drawing unjustified conclusions about what others think, You have a tantrum and you have to stop right away.
- People and places that make you nervous can make it difficult to control your anger. Especially if the mask rage to hide other feelings.
When you become more aware of the people and situations that bother you, And when you understand the signs of anger that your body tells you, It’ll be easier for you to control those feelings. Complete control of your nerves.
Step 3: Learn how to calm your nerves
As we all have causes.
Step 4: Find alternative ways to express anger
Sometimes anger is appropriate, But that doesn’t mean tantrums and indignation are true. Then you have to find a healthy way to express your anger quietly until your message reaches others.
When it comes to anger, Each of us has our own way of calming ourselves down. Learning some self-calming techniques means you can use them when you feel like you’re about to explode.
Fifth step: You take care
When you are healthy physically and mentally, It is easy to deal with any kind of feelings.
In other words, When you’re under a lot of pressure (which means you don’t have a healthy lifestyle), It becomes difficult for you to manage your emotions. therefore It’s important to start applying some practical steps to achieve a healthy lifestyle
